If I wanted...

If I wanted you to be like what my parents wanted, there wouldn't be an us. If you were like my parents wanted I don't know if I would have fallen for you like I have. If you were like my parents wanted I can't say we would be together because you would be different from the person I have come to know and love no matter the hardships. You are the person that you were meant to be and no one can change that. The person I fell in love with is the person I want you to stay.

I know for a fact that if I wanted what my parents want for me I wouldn't be with you. I would be this girl that got straight A's for her parents but that is if I wanted to be what my parents want for me.

Each parent thinks they know what is best for you only they can never be 100% sure. What they want sometimes it seems is to live their life and dreams through you.

Well I NEVER wanted that. What I want is to be who I am with no one to tell me I can't do it or it is not possible. I want a loving and supporting family from people that I am told who will always be there for me.

What I WANT is NOT what YOU WANT and it NEVER will be.

Annoyed -_-

So I have basically been in my room all day for the most part. It seems like the only time they come to see me at all is when they need something from me and not when they want me around.

I hate it when I feel like all they want is when they need. All it is doing is making me want to move out even more because the little perfect family is sitting in the kitchen eating. I just chose to sit in my room because I don't like being some kind of wheel and I know that I promise myself that I will not be apart of something unless I really have someone to talk to that makes it an even number.

I hate feeling this way but I know in order for me to be happy I need to move out because here all I am is some other person when they are together and I am getting sick and tired of it.

When I wanted to be like that I couldn't be because they didn't want us hanging around each other so many days out of the week. Of course though it would be different for her since everything seems to be different for her in the last year.

I don't know how much more I can take and at some point I am really going to snap and I just hope it won't be soon.

I think from now on as long as he is here I am going to take my food to my room. I don't want to be apart of that family if they don't want to include me in any other way or who I am with....

Thoughts

Today I have been thinking that as much as I know what I want to do, who I want to marry, how many kids I want...it can be hard to get there and I have realized it. Everyone hopes that they are able to accomplish so much in a certain amount of time in their lifetime.

I know that it puts a lot of pressure on some but others it works well for them because they have a push. Well for me it does both. At times it is too much and I just want to give up but other times when the pressure is there I am able to get things done because I know what will be accomplished when I do get to the end of that one tunnel.

I know that I will one day get married to the girl that I love. I know that when I say "I do," that we will start our lives together as one. Going from two to one can be hard especially if things are not talked about but as long as they stay the way they are then it will be fine.

I know that I will have a few kids after the "I do" is said. I want children to raise and teach good values to.

I just hope at the end of the day I will have my parents behind me in the lifestyle that I choose since I know they are against the whole thing right now. No support! No acceptance! Barely any toleration. It makes things hard but I know my life is not to make them happy with my choices because I was told to make what I want of my life and don't let anyone stop me.

Man of Steel

So today I went to go see the new Man of Steel movie with my family. The movie itself, I believe, was pretty good for the DC movies that have come out in the recent years.

It was good to see them go back to show some events from his childhood and why he struggles the way he does in the movie that they decide to show.

Hopefully they will continue the story from the last time they left off when he found out he had a child.

Don't know what else to add with out ruining things and don't feel like doing that!

Things of Today and Future to come!

Today was okay since it was the day right after my sister's graduation. When I found out my sister was coming over it was pretty content feeling that I got. When I found out HE was coming over I did get upset and hurt but I have decided I know how my life is going to go when I am married and have children.

It wasn't the best day ever but I do know that I did have a fun time watching my dog run from the baby because he was scared of her.

I just have really mixed feelings of whether or not things are alright enough to not fight right now or whether I need to continue to fight for how I feel.

It just seems that when I do fight, everything is wrong on how I feel at least it seems they make it out to be like. I know I am not wrong to stand up against the differences I get to how someone else gets in this house especially if on my end is the short end of everything.

I know I will continue to fight from here on out and people don't have to agree with me or like that I will stand up until I get the same treatment.

I just have to hope for things to change and be a positive change....

California Gas

So living in California has not been the best in the past few days. I move and all of a sudden the gas prices go sky rocketing! Some places are either $4 something or hitting $5. I mean how crazy is that! Just reading the different posts make me think "Is gas ever going down again?". Then suppose-ably the Gov. is trying to reduce gas prices. I do not exactly how he thinks that is going to happen. I mean they just seem to be getting higher and higher. Hopefully he will be getting it back to under $4 soon. It is too hard for people to go anywhere now with gas being as much as it is.

Found this link on how Governor Brown plans on doing so:
http://www.usatoday.com/story/ondeadline/2012/10/08/gov-brown-steps-in-to-reduce-record-calif-gas-prices/1619725/


Check it out and maybe give me your thoughts?

Where My Heart Lies

My heart has always belong to you. Never to anyone else. No matter what happens between us my heart will always lie with you. I know that I love you. I am madly in love with you. I'm crazy for you. My f***in actions say different I know. You are right. My answer to your question is that I love you and my heart lies with you. If you don't want it please don't give it back. Do something else with it. I can't take it back because it no longer belongs to me. It hasn't since the day I was born. Since November 28th, 1993 at 7:53am my heart has always lied with you; has always belong to you. Yours to do whatever with. I just ask you don't ask me to take it back because I can't. I never will be able to. It was never meant to be with me. It is yours for the taking. MY HEART WILL BE WITH YOU UNTIL YOU GET RID OF IT. I hope this answers where my heart lies. And my heart is telling me that I do love you wether you believe me.